Indian guys, white girls, and more...
Comments from another Blog reader: (He posted this on CL in June 04 and forwarded it to me to post on the blog)
I think all you Indian guys on this site whine too much (obviously, since you're at home watching Kal Ho Na Ho for the 17th time instead of going out and getting a life).
Since I'm an Indian guy, and have no trouble dating women (of any ethnicity) maybe you should read this posting...
Here's my $0.02.
Here's the deal (on why white women won't date you) Most of us Indian guys were brought up in a society where we were given plenty of love and attention by family, unconditionally. Now, you want to leave all that behind, and come to this country in pursuit of the almighty dollar, and you expect that white women will give you the same, like your mother did ?
No way, Jose. (Or Sandeep, or Ranjeet, or whatever...)
Women here are more used to men who have a LIFE - don't expect the arranged marriage kind of unconditionality here...
But here's 10 things that could help...
1--- Have things and people that you are really passionate about (coz we all know just how exciting writing code is and how much you look forward to it every day... NOT. Learn to play a musical instrument. Join a book club. Learn to make a simple bechamel sauce. Take a spanish class)
2--- Learn to dress sharp (if you can't carry off a pink shirt, or green shoes, forget it. Back in India, we didn't really have couture - now that you're here, don't stop at nikes and reeboks - know what a kate spade or a manolo blahnik is. And you techies can afford prada shoes, so go out and get some...)
3--- Read the New York Times (like it or not, it's more relevant to life here than reading the Times of India website.)
4--- Learn to have an opinion (learn to think for yourself. Read. Watch. Observe. Discuss. Learn.)
5--- Culinary adventures are good (learn about wine. buy a larousse gastronomique or a joy of cooking. learn how to make a mean sangria. taste at least 40 types of beer. don't eat any type of cuisine more than twice a week. invent a cocktail a week)
6--- Be proud of who you are and where you're from (Stop having a complex about being Indian. we invented the zero. we have the yummiest food in the world. indian clothes rock too. the tabla is the mot difficult percussion instrument to play. india is one of the most secular countries in the world. we have a great liberal and responsible media, unlike the controlled american media. 'nuff said)
7--- Learn to genuinely want to know more about other cultures and people (not just from the point of view of scoring chicks. learn what unites us as people, and what separates us too. have intense conversations.)
8--- Stop judging people (why do you desi guys just want white checks, eh? stop judging black women, or latin women, or asian women. you fuckers stereotype white women, and then complain of people stereotyping you ??? That's fucked up... Learn to respect a woman in every role that she plays, and as a person. Be interested in her life, not just her skin. As a good friend, who is also a white chick, said - drop your boundaries, not your pants)
9--- Personal grooming is good for you (stop buying the cheapest soap at safeway or rite aid. trim your nose hair. gel might make your hair look better. remember, buying neutrogena or aveda will not make you grow breasts or change your hormonal balance. ever heard of the term metrosexual ? Though dated, it still holds some value...)
10--- To sum it up - women are interested in you if you are interested in yourself. Focus on your life. Love yourself and take care of yourself. Nourish yourself intellectually, emotionally, physically and otherwise. only if you feel good about yourself, will anyone else feel good about you. Be interesting, and people will be interested in you. Enuff new agey crap, but it all holds true.
Bring on the hate mail (or write me a note saying you liked this posting...)
I hope someone reads this - all my time and effort !!!